Where it all began...
When I decided to create an online business and I settled on these beautiful sacred sexuality yoni eggs and yoni wands, I didn't realise how much I actually needed them in my life. I myself epitomised my ideal client demographic.
I've been using the yoni egg for about 3 years now, for the purpose of healing, resensitizing and rewiring my body for deeper states of pleasure and wellness.
All of my life I carried deep internal tension, yet I wasn't even aware of it.
This subconscious tension presented as an extremely tight vagina, little internal sensitivity throughout my entire sex- life (unless there was mutual love), a history of PCOS and hormonal issues since my late teens/ early adulthood, a propensity towards evening drinking- frequently over doing it in order to relax, and a deep sense of unsettled discontent, that I could recognise but really had no clue as to what to do about it.
Now, three or so years later I attribute a lot of my deep healing to practices like the yoni egg, Tantric massage, breath work, movement and meditation...
Essentially because they are all based on one philosophy;
"The philosophy of releasing tension and opening to universal flow,
The idea that our earthly bodies are the instruments of this divine flow,
The body is where a lot of our subconscious wounding exists- essentially as deeply held tension from memory, whether from this life or, as science has now proven, ancestral memory from your genealogy held within your DNA.
The fact that I always carried a lot of deep tension, I think came in one part from some of the experiences I had as a teen and young adult, and in part from my ancestral history.
Actually, month or two after I began the yoni egg practice I took myself to the doctor and had an internal check because I had noticed that my cervix was consistently softer and lower than it had ever been.
I was concerned that I was experiencing some degree of vaginal prolapse, but I now know that I had just released a significant amount of internal tension, and that the new feel of my cervix was a lot healthier, and less stressed than it had ever been.
The subtle body
The yoni egg and yoni massage work on a subtle, energetic level, gently releasing stress from the internal walls of your vagina, and your cervix which is a powerful centre of your sexual energy and creative, healing life force.
Stress and tension held in the cells of these parts of you, are gently accessed and released as the egg applies pressure, combined with your intention, breathing exercises, yoga, movement or pleasure practices.
The idea of stress held in the cells of our bodies has previously been misunderstood, but more and more these days the mainstream is acknowledging this framework of thinking, with wellness methods such as Feldenkrais and Rolfing, and books such as Molecules of emotion by molecular biologist Candace B. Pert, gaining popularity.
"The idea that the body and the mind are somewhat the one and the same, and that what manifests in the body, reflects the subconscious mind."
We have in civilisations past, understood and practiced things like conscious sex to heal and elevate, free dance as a healing modality, as well as meditation and movement to drop into altered states of consciousness in order to access deeper levels of healing and creativity.
"It could be suggested that we are natural healers, and that this is a time of reawakening, and beginning to access these parts of ourselves again."
Yet often still, these kinds of healing modalities, the yoni egg practice included, are an anomaly in the eyes of the Western medically trained mind.
Yet we also know that the number one principal of Western medicine is to listen to the experience of the patient, and we live in a time where there are countless women reporting life changing results through using the yoni egg, myself included.
A Quantum perspective
In Traditional Eastern Medicine and Taoism, the human body is understood to be a "construct of energy systems" all working in harmony (ideally), rather than a physical entity.
Sure- from our perception we are solid, physical entities, but even Western Quantum physics is catching up to the true depths and mystery of our physical realm.
The building blocks of the physical world; atoms- are made up of matter (protons, neutrons and electrons) and 'empty space',
If we take a very close look, we see that the empty space makes up exorbitantly more of the atoms space than the physical components, or the matter of an atom.
So, what is it that binds every thing together? If this physical dimension is actually more nothing than something, as science has long proven, one must begin to ask deeper questions, is there a pervasive energy connecting all things?
As far back...
In many, many past civilisations- prior to this one there has been a prevalent understanding of the one energy that connects all things.
From an Eastern view, today this idea is widely understood and accepted, and yet here in the Western world, it is unfamiliar to us.
This energy, in many cultural views throughout history, and my firm understanding, is a conscious energy of which, each and every one of us is not only part of...
It IS us.
That one conscious energy has a nature identified with joy,
With flow,
With abundance,
And also notably,
With creativity,
With sexuality and
With healing.
In Ancient India where Yoga and Tantra herald from, this one ubiquitous energy that connects all things is known as Prana, and in Traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) it is referred to as Chi.
Acupuncture is a modality that we commonly utilise, and benefit from in the Western world.
Here in New Zealand, the Accident Compensation Corporation (ACC) includes acupuncture within the suite of allied health treatment modalities.
Acupuncture is based on the same principles of energy channels in the body called meridians, and the goal of keeping all channels clear, with energy flow unhindered.
In ultimate conclusion
Energy always wants to move
And it only ever does one of two things, it moves freely, unhindered
Or it slows down or gets stuck
Energy gets stuck as slow moving emotion within the human body
In times past we understood the importance of being in touch with our emotions, our inner realm and our bodies, and now we live in a time where we have been conditioned away from self awareness, and into a mentality and a habit of distraction and disassociation
Yet we still crave the core needs of a whole, complete human and spiritual experience while we are here, our soul feels deep unrest when we do not have a strong sense of connection to self. And we continue to search outside of ourselves...
But the longer we ignore the call to go within and listen, and feel in order to heal- the deeper impacted the tension becomes
And if that goes on for long enough, the fact that the emotion has been pushed so far deep down into the subconscious mind- due to universal law of cause and effect, everything becomes something- and we begin to see a manifestation of an illness, a growth or a condition
"You can heal your body by listening to it"
The sometimes surprising process towards healing with all of the aforementioned modalities; from the yoni egg to energy healing and Reiki, from massaging the internal walls of your vagina and breathing deeply, to meditating and intentionally going within is that, sometimes the healing process is not pretty
Its not all ohm and rose petals in the bath while I make love to my crystal
When I began learning about and practicing these healing ways, I was told and read that there would be deep out pouring of emotion as deeply buried layers of my personal truths resurface
There have been times a day or two after a cervical dearmouring where I'm regurgitating the most nauseating emotion on the living room floor, thrashing my body about and crying- but it leaves me feeling unimaginably lighter
The deep, physical internal pain that I've found when I take the time to slow down and notice where it resides- and as I breathe it out, I experience it simultaneously as an uncomfortable emotion
Knowing that that emotion has left my body and my subconscious (which is the driving seat of the vast majority of my decisions, actions and choices) because I've accessed it and given it a release point, called awareness, called honouring
When buried sadness, anger and pain leave your body your whole being changes, your face, the way you carry yourself, and your body's ability to heal and function for itself increases
It is normal to have similar outpourings of emotion from the yoni egg practice, as it is normal to experience this after or during a yoga class, as many of us know.
But the fact that I can now have cervical orgasms that soar through my body and light up my insides, and make me walk taller than I used to- I think it's worth it
Union
True healing is a matter of clearing old energy
"True healing of deep seated causes comes from clearing old emotion"
Clearing stress and tension
And clearing trauma patterning from past pain
Because what happens when we clear,
Is that we open to universal flow, and rewire for fresh consciousness to course our bodies, minds and lives.